Way too short, facile and first-drafty Jan. 1 Bowl previews

Well, after a long hiatus, I am back, and gearing up for Monday night.  But before we get to that main course, there are plenty of savory appetizers to enjoy.  And as a very wise man once said, “Appetizers are what you eat before you eat to make you more hungry.”  So here are my thoughts on a couple of them, with appetizer favorite ratings:

Outback Bowl: Wisconsin vs. Tennessee
Appetizer rating:  Bloomin’ Onion

Look, I know some people love the onion, but let’s be honest.  It is a deep fried monstrosity that needs dipping sauce to make it palatable and is too often soggy.  This game is like that.  On paper, you think, “Sweet, a delicious meeting of two well established teams with immediately recognizable color schemes.”  But really what you are left with is two unimaginative offenses facing defenses that at different times this season suffered breakdowns that were breathtaking.  I will watch it, but I think the second half is going to be mostly soggy and left on the plate.

Prediction: Tennessee 21-17.

Cotton Bowl: Mizzou vs Arkansas
Appetizer rating: Jalopeno poppers

This game has the potential to provide some real spicy play with two-time Heisman runner up Darren McFadden to provide some fireworks.  Chase Daniel play a little, too, which makes me hope for a game in which the two offenses trade haymakers back and forth for the entire second half.  I really don’t know the answer to this question, who is coaching the Hogs during the game?  Is it the lifeless eyes of cyborg Bobby Petrino, or did they work out some sort of interim dealy there?  I don’t know.  Regardless, I like a pissed-off Missouri in this game.

Prediction:  Mizzou 31-21.

Gator Bowl: Virginia vs Texas Tech
Appetizer rating: Fried Mozzarella sans Ranch dressing

Let’s see, Virginia has Chris Long, and Texas Tech has Graham Harrell.  That’s about all I know about these two teams.  I am not really going to make an effort to watch this game, unless I get really desperate, kind of like when you have been out mountain-biking all day and the first restaurant you come to is a purveyor of crap like Chili’s and  you are forced into getting the fried cheese.  Luckily, on today, there are plenty of other choices, so I think I am going to be able to stay away from this.

Prediction:  I forget to even check the score on this one later.

Capital One Bowl: Michigan vs. Florida
Appetizer rating:  The Honey-Glazed Buffalo wings at Wizard’s Sports Café in Richardson, Texas

The only appetizer that has ever caused me to actually use the celery garnish  to scrape more sauce off the bottom of the plate and eat it, this game offers delicious delight in a totally non-threatening way.  You have the great story-lines of Timmay and the Heisman jinx; Lloyd Carr’s resignation/Michigan’s lurching and incompetent coaching search that was saved in the end by a Petrino-like departure from WVU by Rich Rod; and the health of Michigan stalwarts Henne and Hart.  Should be tons of fun, the kind of thing you could just keep on watching.  Especially if you’re a Gator fan.

Prediction: UF 42-17

Rose Bowl: Illinois vs. USC
Appetizer rating: Shrimp Cocktail

You know what you are getting with this one:  a Trojan home game.  They are the shrimp of this – it is hard to screw up boiled shrimp.  But like the quality of a shrimp cocktail depends on the sauce, this game depends on how well Illinois plays.  To be honest, they were an overachieving team all year, and I see no reason to believe that they will hang with USC playing on its home turf, even if the Trojans do have a Booty starting at qb.

Prediction: USC 31-13

Sugar Bowl:  Hawaii vs. Georgia
Appetizer rating: Anything with foie gras

Foie gras is made by stuffing food down the elastic esophagi of geese, and this matchup was forced down our throats.  I expect Hawaii to have about as much chance as the geese do.

Prediction:  UGA 49, Hawaii 21